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On Track

You know you're on track when you begin to feel your "sense of self" return. And when this begins to happen, you won't be able to stop because it will feel SO good to you. You will understand that your true happiness comes from within yourself-not others, that dependency will lessen and you'll become more confident and self-assured.

Now, getting from Side Tracked to On Track is the journey. It's the gap between the two extremes. But once you have mastered your journey through the gap (rather "closing" the gap) you will continue to live your life on track.

You'll know when any of the following are true for you:

You use the "NO" word confidently

You set BOUNDRIES in relationships with family, friends, co-workers, anyone

Communication is better with your partner

You no longer take responsibility for other peoples problems

You begin, and are, taking better care of yourself physically and mentally

Feel good about yourself

You notice the positive in your relationships

You socialize more

Make new friends

You and your partner go out ALONE

Sex is better (it's a form of communication)

You are YOU first who also happens to be a mother and wife

Your children are not your life- you have your own life

You stop seeking for other things to make you feel good

Perhaps you're able to discover why gaining weight became a problem (if it was) and you are able to deal with it better and make changes that work best for you

You start dressing up more, get out of those "frumpy" clothes

You get back to that hobby, or interest you once had and breath new life into it

People respond to you differently

You respond to people differently

You have more confidence

You take responsibility for your own happiness

You no longer live vicariously through your children

You are less dependent on your partner for your happiness

You try new things

Learn new skills

Start or join a social group

Do something you have always wanted to do

You're able to ask for the help you need, when you need it and it's okay to do that

You recognize you can't be all things to all people and do everything

You help make others responsible for their share by not taking on their "stuff" - what ever that is

You nurture yourself well

You take responsibility for your own physical, emotional,and mental health

On Tract for New Moms

You ask for help when you need it

Recognize fear of being responsible for a new little life is NORMAL

You CONTINUE to do those things that made you happy BEFORE you had a baby

You STAY connected with those friends, activities, interests you like

You CONTINUE to do those things that made you feel pretty, etc..

You take your time to heal, check in with the doctor when you need to

TALK to friends, make new mom friends

Make "dates" with your partner and actually do it!

You feel okay to leave baby with family/partner so you can go out

Yoy refuse to become a "shut-in"

You MAINTAIN sense of self by taking care of you and continuing your interests

You understand the situation will change. As baby grows older you will be able to adust to the changes and continue to do for yourself for yourself

Communication is good with your partner

Sex is good (sex is a very important part of a relationship)

You understand that this is YOUR family now, these are YOUR parenting decisions, follow your intuition, you will know what to do when the time arises

You understand no one knows how to parent, parenting is a relationship you have with your child, it builds over time as your child grows, everyone does it different, it's totally based on YOUR values and beliefs...

You feel okay, and amazing (as you should)

Is there anything you want to add to this list?

Celebrate

You know what your successes are. What you have accomplished. How good you feel knowing what great things you have discovered about yourself - and YOU did it! Now it's time to celebrate! In fact you should celebrate each time you reah a goal, overcome a challenge, a conflict.

Celebrate by treating yourself to something out of the ordinary (not food please, unless you have that under control, or is not a problem for you). There are all kinds of ways to celebrate. You'll know how when the time comes... read about Self-Dialog and Self-Appreciation

Do it now. You deserve it for getting on track with your life.

How do you plan to celebrate?

Nothing feels better than knowing you OWN your own life. It can be whatever you want it to be. It all begins with discovering it's all within you: Your choices, your decisions, interests, passions, etc.

We live on the earth to co-exsist with other people. Not to have them, or situations morph us into something that doesn't "fit" our inner voice.